Thursday, April 20, 2017

6 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Settling For Anything Short of Happiness


Whether it's your career, a relationship, a place to live, or anything else, there is no reason to settle. For anything. Ever. So, forget about it.

All too often, especially as women, we believe settling is the only option. Buy, why? In my experiences I have found that some women settle because being "picky" may make us seem ungrateful or "bitchy" (excuse my language). Because asking for that raise, for more, for anything that is not given to us is rude, right?... Wrong.

In reality, doing those things just means you're self-assured — as you damn well should be, girl. I don't care who you are: you have every right to be confident in yourself and all you are capable of accomplishing.

Of course, though, there are things and times in life where you have no other choice but to settle and that's okay. Right now in my life, for example, I could paint you a picture of my dream apartment in New York City with flower pots on the front stoop, a balcony, high ceilings, spacious rooms, a brand new kitchen, overlooking Central Park (I could keep going...), but no matter how hard I imagine it, it's just not feasible right now.

No, but in all seriousness, NYC is a fabulous place with equally (sometimes) fabulous people. It's genuinely a world of its own and I am so grateful to be able to work in a place with such life — it literally never sleeps.

But, since graduating in May 2016, I have slowly wondered whether or not that "dream apartment" I just described is actually my dream. I know it once was, but after actually living here, I don't love it as much as I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I love Manhattan, but I don't love living in it.

At least for the last year it hasn't quite felt like "home" to me. While "home" in college was found in the friends by whom I was constantly surrounded, I did not have that constant community afterward, so I realized "home," when I am not constantly surrounded by those people who I grew to know and love, is the sound of crickets at night, a lawn of grass, a deck to sit on and read, dogs to cuddle, and bubbles in which to bathe. [[At least for now, until I eventually decide I want the city again. Because if I'm honest I'll probably want to hop back and forth until I'm ready to settle down somewhere]].

So in the last week, as my lease nears its end, I made a big decision: I am moving back to Connecticut after my lease is up on June 1 and eventually commuting to work in Manhattan from there.

How did I come to this decision? Well, it certainly wasn't easy. Here are the questions I asked myself before deciding, the same ones you should ask yourself before settling for anything short of happiness:

1. Does this choice make me happy?

If the answer to this one is no, you can stop here, because chances are if you choose the option that makes you unhappy, you're settling.

2. Can I do better?

This question is important because if you think you can do better, chances are you can. Decide what makes you happy and whether or not your choice is it. Will you be happier at home than in New York City? Will you be excited to go to work every day? Make a list of pros and cons for each, then decide!

3. What is my end goal or dream?

Figure out your end goal (woah, this is a huge ask, I know). Note: there likely won't be a straight and narrow path to this destination, so don't be too set on painting a roadmap for your journey. You'll likely go off-roading.

4. Is this bringing me closer to that destination?

Ask yourself, will this person/place/thing be part of that destination? If not, will it be a stepping stone to help me get there one day? If the answer is yes to one of these, you are most likely making the right choice for you right now. If the answer is no to both, it may be a waste of your time and/or a distraction. *That being said, taking detours in life is part of the fun, so if the answer is "maybe" to one of these, defer to question 1— if it will make you happy, go for it. Life's short!

5. Am I making this choice for me or for someone else?

As difficult as this one may be, never make a decision based off of how others may feel or view it. Unless, of course, it goes against the Golden Rule — like, please don't use this as your pass to punch someone in the face and then be like, "well The Sprinkle said to not make a choice based on how others will feel." No. What I mean is simply make the choices that help you move forward in your life.

6. Am I doing this because it's easy or because it's what I want?

The easy route always seems more appealing, yes, but never take the easy route unless it's genuinely the one that will make you happy (and not just because it's easy). Trust me, good things come to those who 1) are patient, 2) hustle, and 3) never give up.



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6 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Settling For Anything Short of Happiness
What are some questions you ask yourself before making a difficult decision? Is there one thing on which you will never settle?

10 comments :

  1. this is so thought-provoking! thanks for sharing, friend!

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    1. Aw! Thank you so much for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed :)

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  2. Lovely post! Really makes to think about some things
    http://brightbreezyblog.blogspot.lt

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    1. Thanks so much for reading, Laura! Heading over to check out your blog now :)

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  3. I loved this. Absolutely valid questions. Great read. I needed this.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading, Toni! They're definitely important questions to ask yourself. Come back soon :)

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  4. These are great questions to ask yourself! I love each and every single one of them, and I think that all of us should ask ourselves these questions before making big decisions. The question: "am I making this choice for me or for someone else" is so great, and so important!

    Joanne | https://fung-shui.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Joanne! I am so happy you enjoyed them. It's a tough question, but so so true. xxoo

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  5. Yes, yes, yes! And we so often do something because it sounded good to us for a long time on paper, but when the reality doesn't match the dream, these are very wise questions to ask. Great piece!

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    1. Thanks so much, Kirstie! It's so true. Sometimes things sound great and like that's what we "should" do, but often it's not! I think in these cases it's important to be open to change! Because our priorities, wants, and needs are constantly changing. Thanks again for reading :) xx

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